how many “great loves” do u get?

How many great loves do you think you get in a lifetime?

Maybe one, if you’re lucky.  At 23, I think I’ve been lucky enough (or unlucky) to have 3…even writing that shocks me because I’m a very careful/cautious person who fears falling and emotions.

When we were younger, I’m sure we all had this fairytale notion about love, and how there’s only one person for you, and one person who you will fall in love with during your whole life…as we got older, we realized how mistaken we were.  We realized that you can fall in love with more than one person, you can fall in and out of love with the same person,  and you can love more than one person at the same time.  That’s not to say that you will love every person you’ve ever dated.  You’re not going to connect with everyone in that way.  Chemistry is rare and can’t be forced.  Neither can love.  So once it finds you, embrace it, don’t run from it (something I always do).  Don’t ever take anyone’s love for granted. 

You’ll always have your first love, the one that you will never forget and the one that you will take with you into every new relationship you ever have after.  This love will most likely be your ideal, prototype relationship, but don’t use it as a comparison to future loves.  Then there’s the person who you never expected to fall for, the love you always expected to leave you, but never did.  The passionate love.  And sometimes, you can love someone without knowing…that’s the love that never really got a chance to be anything but potential, that never got the chance to grow into something more because timing was never on your side.  That’s the love you’ll always wonder “what if…”  Or maybe, from time to time, you’ll always wonder what if about the people you have loved…

“Everyone knows you only get two great loves in your life.”   “And that phrase “great love,” what does it even mean?”   “It means a love that changes you, that shakes you to your core after which you’re never the same. Seriously, there is not an unlimited amount of love in the world. It’s rare.”

spent over half of her life, so afraid to speak her mind, such a shame cuz oh what a brilliant mind she has, and now, that she’s been introduced to confidence, she doesn’t see, that she is bordering on arrogance, when will she learn to come back to the middle
back to the middle - india arie

25 things I’ve learned in my 20’s [re-blog]

most def #’s 12, 16, 17, and 21

but also: 1, 5, 6, 11, 14, 15

25 Things I’ve Learned In My 20s

May. 21, 2012

By Ryan O’Connell info

<http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/25-things-ive-learned-in-my-twenties/#.T7woB05Le9Q.twitter>

  1. You can’t date a jerk and expect to turn them into a good person. Jerks are fully committed to being unpleasant. Those brief moments of tenderness they give you are designed to trip you up and give you false hope. It’s best to stay away altogether.
  2. The rumors are true: your metabolism does slow down as you get older! That means if you’re still eating whatever you want, there’s a good chance you’ll start to gain an awkward amount of weight. It won’t be too drastic but your clothes will start to hang differently on your body and you’ll feel an overall feeling of unattractiveness. Start to be conscious of what you eat and strive to live a healthier lifestyle if you want to get your teen body back. (Let’s be real though, that might not ever come back.)
  3. You’re going to lose touch with a lot of your friends. With some people, it will be expected but with others it will feel like a punch to the stomach. No friendship is truly safe in your twenties. You’re undergoing so many personal and professional changes that there’s bound to be some casualties along the way. Don’t worry though. You’ll end up with the ones that matter. If someone’s no longer in your life, it’s for a reason.
  4. You’ll be jealous of everyone who’s more successful than you. That’s okay. Just transfer that jealousy into something productive, like working really hard so you can one day eclipse them and make them feel jealous of YOU.
  5. You’ll question every decision you make and never feel completely certain that you made the right choice. It’s pointless to wonder though. You’re here now so you might as well make it be the right decision.
  6. You’re going to give your heart to a few people who don’t deserve it. Then, one day you’ll come to your senses and ask them to give it back.
  7. You’ll see your parents get older. You’ll come home during Christmas break and see new lines developing on their faces. One day it’ll just hit you that your parents are old and going to die. There’s nothing you can do about it, besides treat them with kindness and visit as much as your budget permits.
  8. You’ll have a boss who makes you feel like you’re nothing. It doesn’t have to be in a Devil Wears Prada way. The cruelty can be much more subtle. Don’t let them get to you though. They have no idea who the hell you really are and you’re probably going to have their job someday so…
  9. Doing drugs is fun until it’s not, until it starts affecting your life in negative ways and leaves you feeling guilty and wrecked. If that happens, you should stop doing them.
  10. You’re going to puke in public. It’s fine. No one cares. Just puke.
  11. You’ll know how to make twenty dollars last an entire week because you spent almost all of your paycheck on groceries at Whole Foods and drunk cab rides. This lesson in frugality will serve you well.
  12. You’re going to betray your convictions. You’re going to feel shame. You’re going to continue to put yourself in situations that aren’t good for you. And then, slowly but surely, it will become less frequent. It might not ever go away completely but it won’t be as bad. In the meantime, stop shame spiraling about it. It gets you nowhere.
  13. Loving yourself is hard. Hating yourself is harder.
  14. You’re going to hook up with someone who you would never touch in the daylight sober. Just don’t freak out too much about it. Consider it to be your good deed for the day.
  15. You’re going to have people in your life who are toxic. They may say that they love you, they may say that they have your back, but they don’t. Get rid of them.
  16. You’ll have moments with someone that are so intense, it’ll feel like you’ve been electrocuted back to life. You’ll hold on to these moments for a long time. They’ll give you hope when you’re going through the motions.
  17. You’ll always care about your first love. That doesn’t make you crazy, it just makes you human. When relationships end, it’s not so cut and dry. You carry everyone you’ve ever loved into every relationship thereafter.
  18. You’ll enter your twenties as a fashion disaster and (hopefully) leave them looking fantastic. If you don’t know how to put yourself together by then, I really don’t know what to tell you.
  19. You’ll realize that the Internet can be a cruel son of a bitch but, you know, www.whatever.com.
  20. So much of what you think matters doesn’t actually matter at all. It’s kind of rude. Like, thanks for making me believe in things that are ultimately so inconsequential, you jerk.
  21.  You’ll treat someone terribly. Whether it to be a lover or your friend, there’ll be someone whose feelings you take for granted. We focus too much on whether or not someone is hurting us. The reality is that we might actually be the one who’s hurting someone.
  22. Doing “grown-up things” doesn’t make you a grown up. Shopping for housewares, buying a plant, embracing domesticity — these things don’t create maturity. If you’re still a baby who hasn’t figured things out, you’ll remain a baby, no matter how many times you pay your rent on time.
  23. Don’t force yourself into loving anyone. If it’s not working in the beginning, it’s probably not going to work ever.
  24. You are so lucky to have everything that you have. Stop crying about an unreturned text message and get some perspective.
  25. Don’t go too long without having sex. Ever. TC mark

flaws; i wish i wrote this

I Like Your Flaws

Dec. 20, 2011

By Stephanie Georgopulos info

I like how you mispronounce words sometimes, how you fumble and stammer and stutter looking for the right ones to say and the right ways to say them. I appreciate that you find language challenging, because it is, because everything manmade is challenging. Including man, including you.

When you sleep on your side, I like to map the constellations between your beauty marks freckles pimples, the minuscule mountains that sprinkle your back. I like the tufts of hair you forgot to shave and the way you smell when you haven’t showered in a while; I like the sleep left in your eyes.

I like the way your skin dies in the middle of the night, how you die from embarrassment the next morning; how you writhe in the snake casing you’ve left behind. I like that you think pillow snowflakes carry more weight than pillow talk; that you think my opinion of you is so fickle that it could change overnight. (It’s not.)

I enjoy seeing you insecure, vulnerable. I like to watch red steam light up your cheeks, a spreading mist of shame when you think you’ve done something unacceptable like missing a step on the stairs or not having the perfect answer to something I’ve said. It’s like you honestly don’t know how wonderful you are, it’s like you have no idea.

The burns, the scars, the black and blues on your face body heart, I want to know their stories. I want to know what hurt you, who hurt you, how bad the damage is. I like your hard, ugly toenails and the layer of fat that lines your belly, the soft parts you try to hide. It’s okay to be soft, sometimes.

I appreciate your ability to get inappropriately angry as much as I appreciate your willingness to apologize afterward. I like how your passion manifests unpredictably and uncontrollably, how your feelings cannot be caged or concealed, how you’re incapable of apathy.

I like how you can’t dance, how you have pedestrian taste in music, how the worst song on every album is your favorite. I like how enthusiastic you are when you hear it, it’s like you don’t know how terrible it is, it’s like maybe how you’re able to love someone like me. (Perhaps that’s your biggest flaw, perhaps that’s the one I love most.)

Your flaws single you out, set you apart, make you different from the rest, and thank god. I don’t justput up withsettle foraccept your blemishes, I like them. I like them because they make you human, and humans are easier to love than photographs and illusions and ideals; humans fit more easily between arms and between legs; humans are welcome to their imperfections because if there’s one thing humans can do perfectly, it’s love. Humans can love, they can do it flawlessly.

hahahah dyinggg

hahahah dyinggg

(Source: textfromdog)

(Source: textfromdog)

(Source: jjustine05, via jheneaiko)

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